A dated letter

Found an old letter to my brother (posted March 22, 2021)

The only reason I moved here, was so that I could be near the school district that axed me.  I was hired right after I graduated with my Masters from Queens in 2005, it seemed like everything in my life finally came together, like a picture puzzle.  I was able to get a new car (which I needed for going to work and moving instruments)  for the first time in my life and not a falling-apart jalopy like all the other ones I had owned.  I bought my first home, a co-op apartment, and charge card for the first time in my life.  I really loved my job for the most part.  As the orchestra director, I got to arrange music for school age kids, and I got to teach music and play, and we had a plethora of concerts (9 per year) I travelled from school to school, moved around, I felt like for the first time I was doing what I loved, and getting paid for it!  Problem was, like you, nobody knew what I did, since I was the most highly educated person amongst a slew of clods.  They, in all their institutional wisdom, did not even know that I had degrees in music education, nor did they think it was of any import, (*as Mucci stated at my Federal trial, that he did not know I had a Masters in Music Education.)  The fact that they didn’t know what I did, was of course a great advantage, because  I had complete “creative freedom” but alas, a misfortune when they feel they cannot control you, and don’t know where you are sometimes.  They somehow also forgot to give me the required observations that you need to get tenure.  Nobody knew who was supposed to be my boss, probably because I was too competent and probably because NB administration was more than a little "scattered".  Then all of a sudden, all principals were said to be my “supervisors” (6 of them) claimed to be my supervisor.  Very distasteful to controlling dumb tyrant little principals when they don’t know how to control you, and I’m not sure there is any other kind.  What a real nest of nincompoops in that school district!   

As you may or may not know, I was terminated in my third year, the year I was supposed to get tenure.   It was a real surprise, because just as I completed my 3^rd year and expected to get tenure, but instead, I got the ax by the new superintendent.  So I have been stuck in this place not being able to move, because I have no job.  It’s not like I have a tiny apartment and have an active social life outside these walls.  I have NO social life, really, as much as I try to start more and more new classes, orchestras, etc.  I still feel bored, not needed, and unproductive, and purposeless, and hopeless at times. Still it’s like I’m trapped living in a stifling shoebox. 

My life literally came to a halting stop in 2005, because now my name and career was mud.  The superintendent had it out for me with a negative recommendation, stated at my first hearing at PERB (Public Employment Review Board - what a joke), and they all know each other on Long Island.   As you probably know, they don’t come knocking at your door after a certain age, when they can get much younger “pliable” teachers at half the price.   As earnestly as I tried to get a job, I wasn’t successful.  My “career” was ruined.  The one I had gone to school for 10 painful years earning a degree, when I believed in such things as the American Dream and mom’s apple pie. 

So then I became a wannabee lawyer, not because I wanted to, but because what else was I going to do with my time?  From 2005 to 2008, I worked litigated on my own, as a prose litigant, starting with a letter to the NY State Commissioner of Education, who dismissed my case a year later.   It is not really healthy living when all you do is sit staring and hacking away at the computer all day and getting angina, realizing the lies they were just compounded each day, that they were making up about me to win the case.   Not just with a few people, but the whole district who I was suing.  I had 11 depositions, each lasting from 7-11 hours.  Mine was 11 hours, like I was a criminal worse than OJ.  I became like a leper as far as other teachers not wanting to testify in fear of losing their jobs.  Every time I would read more and more trashing and lies about me as a teacher that I had to refute in detail.  They would have not even bothered to even make a decision on my case if I hadn’t contacted everyone government official in NY and Albany.  (When I think back, I wonder why they system had it that I was "defending myself constantly instead of having THEM defend the illegal action that they took).

Before I started phase one of my lawsuit with the Commissioner of Ed, while nearing the end of the school year, I submitted packets for each board member, including my positive evaluations, and even the one negative evaluation of the principal who had it in for me – thinking they would see through the ridiculousness of it, and vote for my tenure.  I served these packets to the school in a legally correct manner for them to consider my tenure decision at the board meeting where my tenure decision was to be made.  Ha!  Those were the days when I was really GREEN.   The packets also had many photographs of the smiling faces of my orchestra kids, and an explanation of the program and its’ success, the concert tours within the district, etc.   I think that the NB Clerk, Cincotta, blocked the delivery of these packets, and maybe the board never saw them at the meeting, ya think?  Anyway, I heard nothing of the results of the meeting but then got a letter about 10 days later saying that they “approved” the wise superintendent’s decision about axing me, even though he didn’t know me from Adam, didn’t know who I was, not really, and didn’t even know what I did.  For example, he didn’t know I had classes in various schools, he didn’t know I had 6 concerts per year in all those schools, nor did he know my outrageous certifications and musical experience or advanced degrees.  

 To these people, it seemed to me that I was I was living in another dimension which they did not recognize.  The phantom music teacher of North Bellmore who had a Federal Lawsuit of the whole frig’n district.   My union did absolutely nothing for me.  I got the boot, as incidentally as if someone just coughed. As time went on, I learned that school districts typically rubber stamp, or approve whatever the superintendent says.   That is, if they are paying attention at all.  That is, if they go to the meeting.  For some reason, my firing was done at a Secret Executive Meeting, not the meeting where every other teacher is legitimately let go, or resigned or whatever.  Gee, I was really special.  Why did they have to vote (4 people present) at a special “Executive Board Meeting” to fire me?  I think most people are really green, and innocent about reality, until they encounter a crises such as this.  They find out that people are not all good as they perceived, and can do the most outrageous mean things they thought could never be possible. Like just ruining a music teacher's career that she had worked for for the past decade, like it was nothing.  Anyway, onward I went, still in oblivion that people could be this bad, and that is when I started my case to the Commissioner of Ed. 

OK, when the suit with the Commissioner of Education bombed (I got the news that he was dismissing it more than a year later) – and not without screaming to every government official in NY about the illegal firing.  The Commissioner did assure me, however, that action should be taken to resolve my case and that I should continue with my useless activities, and go onward with my solo attempts to get justice.  I thought that by telling all the state officials, surely they would help me do something.  Alice in Wonderland.  Otherwise I think they might not ever ruled on it at all, since I was just a “pro se” litigant, which means you are too poor to hire a lawyer, not that any lawyer would want to defend a lowly teacher.  Where’s the money in that?   Then I took the union to PERB, which is (Public Employment Relations Board) and sued them in that arena, one year later.  That’s where you take cases against the union, because they didn’t represent me, they didn’t even process my grievance that I didn’t get adequate notice of my termination.   It took more than a year for PERB to make a decision after my hearing with the district, and they only made a decision because again I contacted every governmental official in NY to force their hand, and finally, they made the decision to “dismiss” my case once again. 

What I didn't understand at the time was that delay, delay, delay is a tactic that the "justice" system uses to exhaust you.  While I was waiting for their decision, I took it upon myself to file yet another case with the SDHR (State Department of Human Rights).  Yes, I was relentless. When I look back, I was in dreamland.  This time my case was not about wrongful termination, or against the union, but now it was about age discrimination.  Enough denial – ya gotta call a spade a spade.  I knew that there was a time statute as to how long after the incident you can file, so I made sure that I did it within the 300 day statute or whatever it was.  Another year and a half went by and I finally I got a decision from the SDHR, who, guess what?, they DISMISSED my case, once again!  However, I noticed in little, tiny itty bitty writing on the bottom of the documents that there was reason to believe that the cause was AGE DISCRIMINATION, and, accompanying that, I would be gifted with a “Right to Sue Letter” if I responded in a 10 day period or whatever.  These were MAGIC WORDS!  This would give me permission to sue those Bastards on a federal level!!!  I felt I had achieved great heights of achievement.  Realistically, though, I don’t know of any other teacher who reached that level of a lawsuit.  I had been awarded a Federal Lawsuit – without a lawyer!  Well, minimally, anyway, I did receive some coaching about serving the papers and notary and proper forms and all that, but that’s about it.  I imagined them thinking I was a real joke, and a case that all those government workers could win, whilst they tried not to laugh. 

People warned me that no one ever wins an "Age Discrimination" case.

So I got one of those do-it-yourself books, it was called “Sue Those Bastards”, as a matter of fact.  And, in fact I did submit my documents to see if I could have my case accepted docketed as an official case.  Again, I nearly had a heart attack doing it.  But when I finally got my case accepted by the judge I couldn’t believe it.  No teacher ever gets that far.  But anyway, I knew that I could no longer do any legal work myself, they would eat me alive on this level. And I couldn’t of course hire a lawyer at $300 an hour, so I told them to adjourn my case until I could find a lawyer, not really thinking that I could, but just knowing I could no longer continue on my own.  It was killing me.  That was in 2008.

Then, miraculously, a lawyer who would take my case on consignment appeared.  He was referred to me by a friend,  who was an author of a book (White Chalk Crime) which I am in, as a matter of fact, but more important she is, (was?) the founder of an on-line organization called Teacher Abuse, (I know, not a good name) but a place where teachers like me go to expose their horrific stories and the teaching industry, and she has thousands of such stories on her site.  Anyway, this lawyer, a NY trial lawyer took over my case and it began to take an about-face, and with his revisions, was now docketed as an official federal case.  And that is where we are today.  My case will go to trial probably sometime in the summer.  March 30^th is the pretrial conference.  I know you probably think all of this is all bull doodie and a waste of time, but I should win something.

Here is the link showing a pic of my lawyer.  The article shows a clear bias toward me and not the defendant.  http://liherald.com/bellmore/stories/Former-teacher-sues-North-Bellmore-for-age-bias,59741?page=1&content_source=

You can see from this article that things looked very much in my favor.

And here is a link to the judge who will preside in my jury trial

http://www.newyorklawjournal.com/id=1202669720139/Meet-the-Judges-Eastern-District-Judge-Pamela-K-Chen

This judge seems pretty neat.  She’s an Asian-American lesbian who loves music and says that she would be a musician if she were not a judge.  Of course they had to make it a big thing that she was lesbian, because that’s what they do, in “Merica”.  I think that God put her there for ME.  Seems like the kind of judge you would want for a discrimination case, ya think?

Anyway, that’s how I’ve been doodling away my time for the past 10 years.  10 frigg’n years.  I have been in this sort of limbo state, not being able to find a job, and not being able to afford to move or do anything that costs money.  I feel tremendously suffocated and just dream of having a house somewhere with more than 2 rooms, with trees, and where people ride bikes and not cars, progressive thinking and not flag wavers, and where I could hold chamber groups, or maybe teach music and have recitals, etc., etc.  Maybe even have a friend or 2 and be able to invite them over.  This is my dream when I win my money.  Notice I did NOT say IF, I said “when”.  With the money I expect to win, I can make great changes to my life and live happily ever after.

You said “poof” everything went poof in your life.  Yes I can relate.  I felt like I was always productive and working, or going to school before this superintendent took the ax to my career.  And I always felt that I had something to look forward to – like getting new students, having concerts, graduating, having a career, learning more.  Now the only thing I’m looking forward to is my jury trial which should take place sometime this summer so that I can do these things.

I’m sorry about your work situation right now.  I think I can relate to age discrimination.  I thought that in Japan, they were supposed to respect their “elders” more than in America.  But maybe not so in the “marketplace”.